How to Use Conflict to Heal and Deepen Your Relationship

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About The Book

Rock the Boat is an honest look at what really works to bring more intimacy and deeper trust into your relationship. Couples therapist Resmaa Manakem challenges couples not to avoid conflict—Don’t be afraid to rock the boat! The emotional transformation that results can forge a greater, more mature intimacy; a deeper trust; and a stronger bond.

Rock the Boat challenges the idea that conflict between partners is unhealthy or something to avoid. Instead, it encourages both people to stand by what they need and who they are—but to do so with compassion rather than competitiveness or vengefulness. This is the purpose of an intimate relationship: to create an atmosphere where both people learn to grow up and mature in their relationship by appreciating each other’s individual needs in a caring and mature way.

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About Resmaa

Author Resmaa Menakem, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in highly conflicted couples and trauma therapy. With over 20 years of experience Resmaa addresses key factors in helping couples use conflict constructively in relating. This can happen by including accepting discomfort and uncertainty; honesty and openness about sex, money, kids, and in-laws. Resmaa also helps couples recognize when conflict might escalate into violence or abuse; and, when appropriate, finding a way to safely exit relationships.

More About Resmaa

Brenda Schaeffer

April 27, 2015
"Resmaa says it well. A relationship is not intended to be a neat little package but a place where we can choose revolution, devolution or evolution. It is a modern-day initiation chamber where each person gets to transform if willing to stay with the tough spots. I applaud Resmaa Menakem for underscoring that how we do relationship conflict is more important than what the conflict is about."

- Dr. Brenda Schaeffer | Bestselling author Is It Love or Is It Addiction?

Noel R. Larson

April 27, 2015
"In Rock the Boat, Resmaa Menakem tells the truth about intimate relationships—and does so with great honesty, love, wit, and insight. What he has written is “politically incorrect,” and an absolutely honest approach to couples achieving their dream—a meaningful relationship filled with honesty and deep connection."

- Noel R. Larson, Ph.D. | Co-author of Incestuous Families


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